Tuesday, October 6, 2009


It was five years ago, last night, that I was rocked out of bed by what I thought was the mother of all contractions and which turned out to be, I would later learn, only a fairly mild one. My labor began with a few cramps at 5:00 pm that day and I went about padding around the house, sorting through things, packing my suitcase for the hospital, sending a few emails. I don't think I can meet you guys for lunch tomorrow because I might be in labor. That kind of stuff. I wish I had a picture of what I had put in the suitcase just for the visual hilarity of it all. Did I think I would have the time and energy for a round of gin? Light reading? Journal writing? I mean I should have just packed my laptop and done my taxes, right?

From that first sucker punch to the gut at midnight I spent the next sixteen hours in various places in my house, generally on all fours, with my husband basically sitting on my back with all of his weight (it sounds like porn, but trust me, it was not sexy). Our doula, a close friend and doula-in-training, called around 2:00 and my husband told her, I think we're fine. You don't need to come yet. Could be a lot longer. She lived an hour away. This was a miscalculation. By 4:00 I had contractions one minute apart lasting about a minute and I remember yelling HOSPITAL NOW and then I spent the worst seven minutes of my life in the car. And then had four more contractions just trying to get into my labor and delivery room. I was 9 centimeters.

Our doula came to the hospital and rallied me through pushing with her commentary. Jesus that's a lot of hair! And it was a lot of hair, and a lot of baby that followed. And that's how I came to be a mommy five years ago today. Five years ago today I pushed this tiny, helpless kid out into the world with all of my might. Today he blew me a kiss and rode off into the world on his new bike with a new bike bell from Grandma and all the confidence that comes with being five.


aimee said...

happy birthday kiddo! and congrats to mom and dad for helping him along to the big age of five!

Anonymous said...

mazal tov to the proud parents.

everything's rosie

Lori said...

You are super funny- I enjoy reading your blog so much. I want you to put a picture of you up so I know who is making me laugh so hard!

Renee said...

Oh my God I am laughing my head off. I was laughing at your comment about you and your Mom on my blog and to tell you how much I enjoyed it and then I came here with your husband sitting on your back (well I'm still laughing).

You are so funny.

Happy birthday to your big boy.

Love Renee xoxo

AG Ambroult said...

awww...happy happy day to your little man.

Terri Fischer said...

oh, i do so love a good labor story. happy birth-day to the big guy, and happy birthing-day to the mama!

likeschocolate said...


Ida @ Tea for Thoughts said...

Wow, happy birthday little boy! And you are just too funny, do you know that? I've been going through a big part of your archive, laughing my mouth off.
Loved the image of the husband on the back and the porn comment. Still laughing at that one!

Nicola said...

happy happy birthday. my oldest just turned 5 two weeks ago. it's a biggie!