Monday, May 17, 2010

Tools of the Trade

Beads

I had every intention of writing about what a great weekend we had. First a trip to Angel Island with friends. Took the ferry over and then road bikes and flew kites on a perfect day in San Francisco. And on Sunday we strolled around at the Art fair on our main street and I bought fabulous earrings from my favorite jewelry guy and then we opened BBQ season at my brother's surf shack in Santa Cruz with some tasty brats (the hot dogs - not my kids) and played a ridiculous game called Munch the Box which may or may not have caused me to pull a muscle in my ass. A story for another time.

Instead I will bring you closer to my daily reality with a saucy tale of a little girl who put a hama bead in her nose (those beads that you puts on little peg boards and iron them and they become pretty multicolored plastic thingies). And then some time after she did this asked me to get it out.

Me: Get what out?
Her: The bead.
Me: The bee? You need to blow your nose? Bee in your nose?
Her: Yes.

She blows her nose and nothing comes out. Then I realize she's said BEAD. Like a piece of PLASTIC WITH A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE THAT AIR BLOWS RIGHT THROUGH.

Crap. If I have to take her to the ER because she's got a bead jammed up her nose I am not going to be happy...

Me: (with mildly panicked voice) YOU HAVE A BEAD UP YOUR NOSE?
Her: Yes.
Me: (panic growing) DID YOU REALLY STICK A BEAD UP YOUR NOSE?
HER: No.
Me: Tell me what you did?!!?!?
Her: NO!!!

She finally admits that she did in fact put the bead up her nose and now she's terrified because I'm coming at her with a tweezers and a flashlight but eventually we pin her down by sitting on her get her to lie down on the bed with her head tilted back and her nose pulled downward so I can shine a light in there and find, indeed, a black hama bead. My son held her hand and told her she was brave and I reached in there to do the extraction.

This was not in my job description.

13 comments:

nacherluver said...

Yeouch!

Danangib said...

Mmmmm, has she recently watched a movie with Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney?

aimee said...

just make sure you don't fawn too much over her or she might do it again! when i was two, i jammed a packing peanut up my nose and was so pleased by the attention i got that i did it again, only this time it was so far stuck that i had to go to the ER and they had to strap me in a straitjacket to get it out!

Everything's Rosie said...

and then there was the time when Aaron shoved a Poly vi-Flor multi-vitamin up his nostril at 2 years old; we couldn't get it out; it eventually melted. Or...the time when my Spanish mother (for the summer) tried to extract a special long piece of cotton from private parts before finally sending me to the dr. She ALSO used LONG TWEEZERS!!
Enuf with the tweezers.

Handmade in Israel said...

Been there, done that, though with a peanut! Sneezing did it for us though :)

ElindaMay said...

Had to pull a band aid out of my daughter's ear using a pair of tweezers. She had no explanation as to why she did it. And, she was no toddler. She was seven years old!

DR said...

one of my friend's little girl (at the time age 2.5) put a 1X1X1 cm piece of apple up her nose. She had to go to emerg and when THEY could not get it our she had to go to the OR so they could do it under anaethetic. crazy huh? myabe putting things up your nose is one of those unwrittne milestones, like walking in adults shoes etc...

Liv @ Choosing Beauty said...

Oh my gosh. I know this is no laughing matter...and yet I'm laughing. Apparently I put a pea up my nose as a tot and did wind up at the hospital. I mean, those small little round things just seem like they're made for nostrils! :) I hope someday you can laugh about it, too. If it makes you feel any better, my little guy keeps eating dog food. Seriously.

AG Ambroult said...

I am laughing out loud right now, but only because you didn't have to take her to the ER. My friend's daughter had to have a surgical procedure to get the bead out her ear!

Shannon said...

omg i'm not looking forward to that day. good job mama!!

liz depuydt said...

hi susie- so happy to have found your wonderful blog via your brother, aaron, our great pal! your art is beautiful! i too am a stay at home/artist/etc... yes, have had the nose experience with packing foam, not fun. looking forward to reading more... liz

aimee said...

um, inner toddler? INNER TODDLER? where are you?? new post please...

Inner Toddler said...

hi liz! thanks for commenting. how great to have aaron hooking me up with kindred spirits!