Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Time for some self love

Narkisim

Happy February gang! I'm thrilled to report back that indeed I accomplished my two goals from last week. I applied for my business credit card and I opened my bank account. So this little goal setting system appears to be working. For now anyway. But in addition to my weekly goals for February I want to set a wider intention regarding the way I'm running my business and running my life frankly. Things are a little out of hand. I'm kind of falling apart. In a slow, tiny pieces at a time kind of way. I'm not taking care of myself in the way that I'd like to. I'm not sleeping enough. I'm spending too much time on Facebook meaningless things. I'm not taking care of my body or the way I look. This all became painfully obvious when I took my kids to Costco yesterday to get new passport pictures. I marveled at how my son has changed in the five years since his last photos were taken. He was two months old and I was balancing him against the white screen and to this day it's the one picture of him that makes us laugh the most because although at the time we thought he was beautiful, he was pretty crazy looking. And this time he stood confidently, looked right at the camera and flashed his beautiful smile (and dimples). I needed new pictures too for my Israeli passport. My picture, on the other hand, shows an exhausted, unhealthy woman. I looked at that thing and thought, it doesn't have to be like this

It's time for a little self love. Starting appropriately with these narcissus blooms which I bought for myself at the farmer's market on Sunday. If you lean your head into the screen you might be able to smell them. They are that potent. And they make a nice segue into a list of intentions for this month:

Eating
We always talk about wanting to go the farmer's market but we rarely go because it's too expensive. But after seeing the movie Food Inc. last week we decided that we could and would spend more money on food and eat food that made us feel good and feel good about consuming.  Plus we ran into five people we knew at the market which gave us a welcomed feeling of community in this place that we're never too excited about. 

Sleeping
I have been going to sleep past midnight for more than a year. And I get woken up every day at 6:30. It's not enough sleep. I'm never rested. I'm setting a goal to shut down communications every night by 10:30. 

Exercising
This one is so obvious and so important and it never. gets. done. I have spurts. They never lead anywhere. So this month I am making time to do this. Some form of exercise everyday. So I can feel strong and have energy.

Disconnecting
This warrants it's own post but suffice it to say that even though I don't own a smart phone, I am online in a way that defines unhealthy. Today was the first day I put my computer to sleep when I went to pick up my kids after lunch and didn't turn it back on until they went to sleep. Please, stop. The standing ovation is totally embarrassing...

So there it is. A declaration. A commitment to self-love this Valentine's season. And a wish that these changes will help me be more present for the people in my life that I cherish most.

11 comments:

Desert Savta said...

I can smell the narcissus. All I have to do is go out into the yard and smell. Just drop by and you can smell them, too.
I agree and support all your resolutions. Yashar co'ah! Keep up the great work as an artist and in taking care of yourself.

aimee said...

beautiful. every single bit of it.

Judy and Mark said...

hey susie!
patricia and i talked this AM so i was thinking of you! i suggest joining a CSA for the year. we did it last year and it was great- we ate so healthy and you feel compelled to eat it all because you paid lots of money upfront (but really only about $20/wk) and it's THERE in your fridge demanding to be eaten. right there with you on the rest of it, too. funny, because this is basically what P and i were bemoaning this AM . . . .
judy

Inner Toddler said...

That is such a great idea Judy. I've thought about that in the past, and like everything else, it flies out of my mind the very next second. I'm going to look into it. I also LOVE the idea of being in sync with the seasons.

elisvermeulen said...

Good post. we need a wake up call now and then and weirdly a picture made is often a better one than a mirror. Hope things will go according to your new plans. Sleep well. :)

Liv Lane said...

Just discovered your blog and I'm in love!
My favorite line in Pretty Woman is when Julia Roberts and her hooker roommate say to each other "you take care of you" and they mean it. I hope you do take care of you. It's easy to forget!

la ninja said...

I'm still clapping. stop stopping me.

however, sod the valentine season crap. always. healthy. loved. happy. rested. always.

it's 00:36 here. off to bed, ninja. now :)

Lisa said...

We LOVE this CSA! We get to choose what we want each week and I don't recall a bad veggie or fruit! Check it out. http://www.eatwiththeseasons.com/Sign-Up.html

Pump it Up Mondays! I'll see you there!

Inner Toddler said...

Lisa - I am in pain from Monday, but I went today again! More pain! I will definitely see you Monday for some extra pain. Thanks for the CSA link.

painted fish studio said...

oh girl, you really do need to take care of yourself better! and i will make sure i'm hounding you about it!

Lori said...

Oh please. I am not sure if it is possible for me to relate to this post any more than I do. I'd like to cut and paste it to my blog. I am sending you a toast (of green tea) Cheers to you Susie! You will do it. Cheers to being healthy, sleep nurtured and self-loved.