Monday, March 7, 2011

Bad Dreams


This is my psyche self-portrait. Because based on the dreams I've been having lately, I am loony tunes. On the outside I am trying to hold together a crazy amount of stress and chaos, despite my Martha Stewart home interior. This past weekend was our first open house and while we had plenty of traffic and a few folks who showed up multiple times, we don't have any offers yet. Mind you, we've been on the market for four days so my discouragement is very premature. And our awesome super agent is not concerned at all. Nonetheless my anxiety about the sale of our house and my ability to keep it immaculate and show it with an hour's notice, is clearly starting to have an effect on the ole subconscious.

Two nights ago I dreamed that someone broke into our house. A large man with unusually short arms. More like flippers actually. Mr. Rosen beat the crap out of him with a filled water bottle. But we were still devastated by the damage this might cause to our property value.

And last night, I was meant to perform in front of a giant audience. Sing, to be precise. Something I have actually done before, though not for quite a while. There was a particular theme to the performance which I can't recall right now but I wasn't to go on until maybe fourth or fifth and everyone before me was Broadway quality theatricality with costumes, make-up and a chorus of back-up talent. It was so obvious I was the impostor. And I hadn't even decided on the song, though I was pretty sure it would be the Bonnie Raitt song I Can't Make You Love Me, except I couldn't remember the second half of the chorus.

Turn down the lights.
Turn down the bed.
Turn down these voices,
Inside my head. 

That's about right. 
I need a drink, and the pregnancy tea is not doing it for me.


nacherluver said...

Oh my goodness. Sorry for all the anxiety but damn! if it didn't make for one heck-of-a cool self-portrait! A chaotic muse is perhaps not such a bad muse.
Don't worry about the house. It will sell and to the right person. Whenever I am in the market for a home and viewing, I always tell the realtor that if the person has small children, "Tell the mother not to sweat it. If I go in and see a lived in home, I will know what it looks like lived in which is exactly what we will be doing there. Living"
It often takes the pressure off the seller. Now not everyone is that okay with a "less than perfect" showing, but perhaps those are not the right buyers for a well loved house, eh? Guess what I'm saying is, it's not worth the stress and nightmares. Do what you can, know it's enough and take care of you.
hugs and good luck!

Inner Toddler said...

excellent advice. :)xox

Kolleen said...

i couldn't agree with nacherluver more!

i feel for you...i do remember that stress when i was a single mama with my two little ones trying to sell my house....the stress it caused was AWFUL! dont' remember any nightmares though!!

i did giggle at the large man with flipper arms!!!

sending you calm and peace my friend...and some better dreams!!


Laurie Miller said...

I remember trying to sell our house with young children at home. It was a nightmare - the day I said "screw it", we had someone come for a showing - and despite the home not being perfect - we got the offer we hoped for. The people told us they could see a family living there.

And I have to say - I can relate to your nightmare. When i am stressed, I show up to perform and haven't learned my part, can't remember the words and end up faking my way through it. Hey! Sometimes I am really good . . .:)

Good luck in your very large and exciting life change.

AG Ambroult said...

Get yourself a drink already, woman. i won't tell.
I cracked up at the thought of Mr Rosen beating away the intruder with a water bottle.
I, for one, am still very confident that your house will sell sooner than later.
I cant make you love me? Ah hahahahaha!