Thursday, August 16, 2007

Half-caff chai latte with a nipple

I have to say that one of the funnier aspects of blogging is that my site meter can tell me who's visiting my site (not by name, but by IP address), where s/he resides, what referred that person to me and a whole host of uninteresting data points like which browser was used. So of course I like to see where people are who read my little accounts of life with children. And how they found me. Many times it's via google search and I can actually see what people searched for and where my blog ranked. The searches don't necessily have anything to do with what I write about, but many of the keywords are the same. This is where it gets funny.

Some folks have searched for the usual parenting stuff:
Six year old poops his pants
Four year old peeing in his bed
Toddler is killing me
Toddler obssessed with ear thermometer

At least I know I'm not alone.

Then I saw one searching for advice regarding "poop stains on my husband's underwear". Oh jesus I say to that one. This poor woman. Was she looking for advice on how to tell him? Or if he had a medical condition?

But the best came from a woman in India who needed advice about her "husband wanting to nurse on lactating boob." Are you KIDDING me? Now, I'm not a prude. I realize it happens and it's not all that gross but clearly this woman is distressed by it. And she probably has enough to worry about with her new baby without accomodating her thirsty husband. I mean, Raj, if you want a chai masala, get your ass out of bed and go down to the corner tea house. Leave your poor wife alone. It's bad enough she has to endure the pity sex. Now this?

Oh I kill me.


kate said...

unbelievable the way you tell stories. i'm laughing/crying. you should be a sitcom.

Cheryl said...


Cheryl said...

It worked, yea, I have a google account, didn't even realize it.

Everything's Rosie said...

Did dear Mr. Rosen read this? It's hysterical.

Unknown said...

Hilarious! Okay, I'm guilty of following your blog via fb. I live in Irvine. What can I say, I'm hooked on your stories. And I am not one to read blogs.

This one, was beyond funny. Keep it up!