Weeds

Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them. 

A.A. Milne (via Eeyore)

I've been trying to walk most days to keep my blood sugar down and my hips supple. They seize up on me every morning. Something about widening to make room for a baby's head to get lodged in there. The walking helps. This is a shot of my favorite garden in our neighborhood. I remember when the woman planted it a few years ago and now it grows more enormous every year. That's because it's mainly weeds. Like these beauties. I think they're called Milkweed and they grow huge. They don't say kids grow like weeds for nothing. This is just a tiny corner of the garden but the rest is mostly more of the same - a lot of bordeaux and lavender mixed with chartreuse and other yummy shades of green in a kind of cabbagy melange. Delish. And it wouldn't be a garden in my neighborhood without a few orange California poppies which, even if you hated them, though you never could, they'd find a way into your soil (and your heart). Happy spring.

In case the belly alone wasn't noticeable

This is what seven months pregnant in the snow looks like. I don't have any maternity ski clothes. I'm not even really sure anyone makes maternity ski clothes in this litigious society since it seems a little reckless to ski when you're T minus two months. I had thought I would just wear my ski pants unzipped for our weekend in Lake Tahoe, but it became clear that would not be an option when I could not get them over my ass. So I wore my jeans. But thankfully on her last visit my mom brought up a giant jacket that we have kept all these years for no reason and here I am in it. It was gifted to me by an old friend from Jr. High who later went to Georgetown and was somehow involved in traffic control for Bill Clinton's first inauguration. It's pylon orange, as you can tell, and, knowing that I always had a thing for orange, he let me have it. Or maybe I took it. Not important. It's size extra-large and since I am now extra-large, you better believe it came in handy on this trip.

On a side note, it reminded me of when I was a senior in college and Greg had graduated early to go do a service project in South Africa. We actually wrote letters to each other on those flimsy blue airmail trifolds. Once he sent me an orange beaded bracelet from Swaziland that I adored. I showed it to my boyfriend at the time and complained how come he didn't know that orange was my favorite color. I was obviously looking to pick a fight, as was my way at the six week point of any relationship. And he said, because this guy has known you since you were twelve and I've known you all of two months. He had a point. Which is why I kept him around for three more months before I had to let him go.

Where was I? Yes, trudging around in my gigantic orange jacket all weekend. We took the kids skiing and tubing and sledding. And they ran around the house in their long underwear playing made-up games with their cousins. Sixty degrees and 20 feet of new snow thanks to our most recent storm, the one that lasted forty days and forty nights and officially ended California's drought. EPIC.

Junior has a thing for orange too.

Ten Years Ago Today - Buddha Day

Ten years ago today my husband and I were sitting in an internet cafe in Katmandu sending out some emails and planning our trek in the Himalayas. At the end of that trek we would be engaged. I will have also lost my inhaler and gotten kicked by a horse and Mr. Rosen will have thrown up more than a dozen times from altitude sickness. Pussy. But on this day we were still reeling from our three weeks in Thailand and happy to be in the cooler, dryer climate of Nepal. Here's a snippet from the email I wrote on May 31, 2001.

We took the night train back to Bangkok where we saw the golden Buddha - a huge, five ton, solid gold Buddha. Just about the shiniest thing I have ever seen. As it was our last day in the the city we attempted to see the 49 meter lounging Buddha too but when we arrived we were told it was Buddha Day and that there was a ceremony so we couldn't go in. Buddha Day? Then a guy told us that could take a tuk tuk ride and see the sitting Buddha and the lucky Buddha and the standing Buddha and then the export shop for only 20 baht. Unusually cheap. Why? Buddha Day. Good for Tourists. Buy jewelry.
We figured we were being set up for a scam and that Mr. Rosen might end up dressed as a woman in a tranny show if things got ugly. Bangkok has a scary underbelly. So we left. Then we asked another guy who also said it was Buddha Day and offered to drive us around. The export shop was having a promotion for tourists to buy things tax free. You buy, okay. You no buy, okay. So we figured what the hell and jumped in the tuk tuk.

We see one Buddha and then another and then another and then the guy takes us to this jewelry shop. We walk in looking like big sweaty shlumps having just inhaled five kilometers worth of exhaust from the vehicle in front of us exhaust while everyone else appears refined in their suits and bad toupees. They must have taken cars. It's obvious we're not going to buy anything so we find our way to the exit. The driver is annoyed and says we have to stay longer than ten minutes so that he can get his petrol coupon. Stupid foreigners. We understand. Buddha Day.

So we go to another place and Mr. Rosen and I start trying on rings like idiots and the owner is annoyed because his masterful powers of deduction have led him to believe we have no intention of buying anything and that we're just there for the coupon. But we hang out for ten minutes and the driver gets his coupon. What a funny day. Buddhas, coupons, toupees, precious stones. Time to cool down with a banana shake.
Namaste.

Anyone remember what you were doing ten years ago today? Celebrating Buddha Day in Thailand? Do share.

Giveaway

Just a quick note to let you know that Liv over at Choosing Beauty is hosting a giveaway - up to $40 for the print of your choice from my ETSY shop. You have to leave a comment with the name of your favorite print (and there are ways to be entered more than once to increase your odds). The giveaway ends tonight. Go comment! I once commented and won two beautiful prints by this lovely artist and friend.

Also, Liv has launched a terrific website called Feel Good Deal of the Day with all kinds of great deals on stuff you love anyway. I just got 40% off my order from Esprit.com and one of the things I ordered is stretchy enough to fit me even now! That's some stretchy-ass material!

What else? My pal Aimee is teaching in what looks to be a fantastic e-course where 21 artists share their techniques. You listen and learn at your own pace and it runs from April through August so you have plenty of time to soak it all up.

A few months ago my mom unearthed a series of emails I had sent ten years ago while Mr. Rosen and I were traveling the world. I think I will post a few in a "Ten Years Ago Today" series. Can you remember what you were doing ten years ago? I hardly remember what I did yesterday. Thank goodness for the digital paper trail.

And last, thanks to everyone for your support as we navigate this period of mondo-transition. It is enormously comforting to hear your stories too.

There's no place like home

Self-portrait by my four-year old

We're working through some stuff over here. With Mr. Rosen in Israel this week and a series of back out buyers on our house, I am thinking about a lot of things. Like maybe we don't really want to sell the house right now and that's why it hasn't sold. I try not to over-analyze these things, but as I get myself mentally prepared to birth this baby in two months, I'm thinking a lot about some of the stories I read four years ago in Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. About how one woman was stalled out during labor because she wasn't mentally prepared to bring this child into the world (I think her mother-in-law was in the room or she hadn't thought of a name yet or something like that. Maybe she had just fought with her partner - who knows. My brain is mush). So her physical body just closed up. She needed to let go of her anxiety so that her body could open up and do its thing, which eventually she did and her baby was born.

I have a feeling that I am mentally holding on to my home. I'm telling myself that more than anything I want to avail myself of this house so that we can move on with our lives and continue to plan for the next part. And when jerk-face backed out yesterday at the eleventh hour I just sobbed. I wanted this thing over. I want the kids to have their friends over again. And I am so sick of making the beds every morning and wiping down the bathroom and doing the dishes on the off chance that someone will want to show the house. But I know there's a part of me that's anxious about where we'll live next. And another part of me that wants to bring the new baby home to this house just like the others.

The other interesting thing is that every time I hear that someone thought the house was darling but doesn't want to live across from a school or in a neighborhood that's so "diverse" I get all mama bear over the house. Like, how dare you talk to my house that way and not value the same things that I value. It must all be part of the process of letting go. A home can be so much more than a place to live and there's obviously a lot more wrapped up in this house than I ever knew. Not to mention all of the uncertainty represented by leaving our home. I don't think we're getting cold feet but this move is forcing us to examine our own ideas about home and where it is and what it means and how do we find it again. I might try clicking my heels.