Wednesday, February 6, 2008

The Look Part 2

I changed my daughter's diaper this evening when I first smelled something foul wafting up from the kitchen floor where she was sorting tupperware. I scooped her up, put her on the changing table and took off her diaper to find only a tiny little poop. So, naively I thought, Super. A mini-poop. No mess. No rash. Lovely. What I didn't realize was that in fact she hadn't finished her business. She was between pushes.

I like to let her crawl around naked when possible to air out the ole vageen. So I'm putting away the laundry and she's in the hallway which thank god is hardwood and not carpet (you can see where I going with this). I glance over and she meets my eyes with, you guessed it, THE LOOK. Suddenly she's sitting on a giant poop. So I grab her and she's laughing and I'm laughing and my son is completely disgusted by this barbaric behavior since he is now civilized and craps in a toilet.

I clean her off and take off the onesie that now has poop on it and the shoes with poop and I wipe up the floor and dispose of the poop and put her down to continue playing while I go wash off the shirt and shoes. I come back two minutes later and she is sitting in another pile of poop, this time smeared all over her legs. So I pick her up and put her on the changing table to wipe her off again and she looks me straight in the eye and pees. And then it finally dawns on me. The girl wants a bath.

I don't bathe her everyday because I'm lazy and she doesn't get super dirty and it's just one extra thing that I have to do before 7:30 when I put her down. I try for 2-3 baths a week which I know would horrify some moms but it's winter and cold and her skin's dried out as it is. But she loves having a bath. She crawls into the bathroom and stands next to the tub waiting for me some evenings.

So I put her in the tub and she's as happy as can be when I hear a farty ripple noise coming from under her in the water and I think, what in the hell did I feed you? But, in fact, it was just her sitting on the rubber duckie. Situation averted.