The case for maternity leave

Above: picture of what nursing does to my son
Below: transcript of what nursing does to my brain

This is my first time being self employed after having a baby so it's been somewhat challenging staying away from work. Mainly because no one is currently paying me. And even though I've let it be known that I'm mostly on maternity leave, I'm still kind of taking orders but mostly not. So when a potential client called me the other day asking about a ketubah for an August wedding, I understood why maternity leave is so critical, especially in the first few months. This is how the conversation went:

her: So how does it work exactly?
me: Well, basically once you decide on a design and make your buy, I mean buy your transaction. I mean make your transaction, then I will send you the different texts to choose from and something to write in your information. Like a form. On the computer. A pdf.
her: You mean like an in-take form?
me: Yes. that. And then you fill it in with your details and tell me which text you want for the inside. That I can flow in. For the Hebrew part and the English too. which you can also write yourself. But you don't have too. I have texts. Jesus, someone take the phone away from me.
her: Can you send the texts now so I can get a head start?
me: Sure, no problem. Just send me your email address in an ETSY convo.
her: How about if you just write it down since we're on the phone.
me: Right. good idea. I'll just write that down.
her: Great. I really appreciate your taking this order even though you're on leave.
me: Yes. I appreciate you too. I mean *it*. I appreciate it. The order. And you, too. Thanks.

Remind me not to go on the radio or on any talk shows in the next few months since I sound like a moron.

Dairy Ere

I decided that I'm off milk. Well, I decided this for my daughter since she's had a runny nose and post-nasal drip for the last 19 months. But she decided that I have surely lost my mind and refused her grande decaf soy bottle last night. I guess when she's 35 she can decide for herself that she is tired of her cranial plumbing problems and make the switch. As for me, I made the switch today. I walked my congested self over to Starbucks this morning and ordered a tall SOY latte. 

And let me tell you, for the record, that drink tastes like ASS. Uch, it is seriously disgusting. I guess I'm off coffee too.